Here I am – fifty six years of age. Fairly and squarely in the midst of middle age or preferably, let’s say, my mid-life. So where to from here, what am I wanting out of the next years?

I guess we all remember being kids and then teenagers. Yes, they were formative years but when I turned twenty, as much as I thought I knew a heap about life, I really knew a heap about nothing. In fact, looking back there were still more questions than answers in coming to terms with where I slotted into the universe.

I remember turning thirty, it was sort of expected, we’d been married for two years and we had two young children – back to back, a boy and a girl. A pigeon pair as they say. I was focused on growing and running a small business. Life was taking shape. It felt like I should be thirty. The weeks went by quickly as did the weekends and the seasons, yet time didn’t seem to be such an issue.

My thirties moved on. A lot happened in that decade – upgrading and moving houses, kids going to school, weekend kids sports, still strongly focused on ambition and running a business. Looking back I wonder how we fitted it all in.

And then a major and dramatic change in our direction.

We decided to sell everything and make a new start in Queensland. We completely uprooted our lives and arrived unemployed with two young children in a new state. Personally, these next years would challenge me greatly. But we were determined to make the change a success.

When I turned forty it was genuinely starting to feel like time was now picking up the pace. I’m not the type who easily accepts one’s plot in life, there’s always more – probably to my own mental detriment. Was I happy with my achievements? Was I comfortable with who I had become?

It was becoming increasingly clear, there wasn’t going to be a re-run.

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Then something big hit me clean between the eyes.  All of a sudden, I turned fifty!! Where the hell did that past decade go – it was gone in a flash. In sporting terms I would have asked for a count back. By stealth, time had truly crept up on me and the absolute recognition of my own mortality was a real thing!  I can’t think of a truer saying  “Time waits for no man“.

In all honesty, I didn’t realise turning fifty would have such an effect on me. I guess a major reality check best described it. Ironically, I don’t think I’m the only one who has hit this milestone without doing some serious soul searching. Fifty is like an official mark in time – you can be guaranteed you’re over half way.

So, as the question I asked myself in the opening paragraph of the blog – where to from here? Well, I’m going to leave that for another post – RD

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